Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
