Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
