I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
