May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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