try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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