he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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