he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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