Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
True but thats because hes a fetus.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
