You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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