a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
