Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
