Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
