Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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