I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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