Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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