You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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