You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
