i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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