Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
