but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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