someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize