I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
