Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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