You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
