I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
