Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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