I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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