We're facebook friends in real life
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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