Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
