i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
