we're blogging at a bar
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
