I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
