Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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