I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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