Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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