I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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