I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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