I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
