9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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