Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just want nice things and good sex
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
