so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
