i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
