why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
