who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
