be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
