only if we run a train.
done.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize