I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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