Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
