Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
