good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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