My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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