I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
