can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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