There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
