The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
