imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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