Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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