Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
