I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
