he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
