wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He literally asked permission to hit on me
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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