he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
