Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
