Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
